I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Randomize
