Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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