whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
