I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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