Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
