Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
this just has baby written all over it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
