Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
