after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
