I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
