ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
