he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
