And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
