you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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