i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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