omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
