My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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