Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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