I wanna bring you to show and tell
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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