Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
