There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
