matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
