I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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