it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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