You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
