Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
