In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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