Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
