Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
