I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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