Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
