You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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