oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
