if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
