i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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