Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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