My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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