i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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