Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
