I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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