watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
