As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
