I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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