I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
