Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
