Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
