i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
