I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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