i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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