So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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