I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
