apparently the secret to your success is patron
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
